I was reading through someone's comment in another location and the author recounted being a newly minted PhD in DC and by happenstance running into Clark Clifford, who was polite enough and interested enough to engage in some conversation, which emboldened this person to ask "... what do think is the most important thing I should remember as I pursue my career here?"
Mr Clifford replied, "Never make an unnecessary enemy."
I think that is sage advice. When in a disagreement with someone there is no need to make it a personal thing. This is someone you might find, later on, that you really like (or would have really liked, if you hadn't made an enemy of him early on).
Regards — Cliff
Cliff,
ReplyDeleteThis was also credited to Andrew Krepinevich in Tom Ricks' "The Gamble," where AK gets credited for the Law of Conservation of Enemies -- never make more than you need to. But I'm sure many more have said this, too, and way before Mr. Krepinevich -- or Mr. Clifford, for that matter -- was around to say it.
I think the bigger challenge is putting this into practice, but one practical rule I'll throw out there to go with this is to always assume the best intentions. So many little interpersonal disputes arise because people fail to heed this.
A second thing -- in addition to something I posted and that we both commented on a while ago about not trash-talking your colleagues, it's also important not to hold a life-long grudge just because someone did the same to you however long ago.
Just as your opinion of others is fluid and always subject to change, so is theirs...of you.
best,
gp
GP
ReplyDeleteBut, Clark Clifford gets the nod in my book because I like his last name. That said, Andy Krepinevich is a sharp customer also, one for whom I have great respect.
Regards — Cliff