The question is, how far away is too far away, when it comes to family, especially if you are a grandparent.
I should declare up front that I dragged my family to Alaska, Europe and Asia, and thus far away from grandparents on both sides. And, I figure that my children were not overly traumatized. And my parents and my in-laws did come to visit us in various places.
A friend has a son, Chris, who is just out of college and looking for work. His game is town and city management. At this time jobs are not plentiful. So, he has applied for jobs in a number of places, including one application sent to San Diego.
Chris is married and he and his wife have just had a child—the first grandchild. The friend doesn't want to see the son and the grandchild move away (nor the daughter-in-law). It isn't like this friend hasn't lived in different places—New York, Indiana, Massachusetts and maybe elsewhere.
But, here in Massachusetts we tend to think in terms of keeping family close. A couple of years ago I was in a Continuing Ed class and one of my younger fellow classmates expressed horror at the idea that her Brother was moving clean to New York State with his new wife. In fact, I believe that if it wasn't for this New England trait, our demographics would be showing a decidedly downward slope.
But, my own prejudice is that children should be encouraged to spread their wings and explore. Thus, aside from San Diego being the most wonderful city in this country, after Lowell, there is the idea that there are things to be learned from living and working in different parts of the nation. There is a lot of diversity out there across the fruited plain.
Regards — Cliff
2 comments:
Cliff,
And sometimes the provincialism can go worse than that. Two summers ago, when I was doing my big exploration of New England's small cities, I stopped and asked a lady from Rhode Island whether she thought the place lived up to its reputation for being notoriously provincial (and I think we can use anecdote and some real stats about leaders and show that Bay Staters are far LESS provincial than many of their neighbors).
Anyway, this was her answer: "One of my sisters married a man from Massachusetts and it caused a huge rift within the family. My parents felt somewhat slighted, and all they kept saying during the engagement was 'Why couldn't you have found a nice Rhode Island boy?'"
True story.
But as to your point about moving around a bit, I think it seems crazy NOT to do. If I get tired of living here, or sick of the winters, or the drivers, or whatever, I'm not going to start fantasizing about how great it would be if I just pulled chalks and moved to California, Virginia, or the Flori-bama panhandle. I've already done that, sized everything up, and said this was going to be it.
I can't hold a candle to you in terms of total places lived -- growing up or during active-duty career (in fact, I joined the Guard for the PRIMARY reason that unless the state itself moves, the state guard cannot, and therefore I won't have to). But I would just think that when you live in many places, you get a better sense of perspective. That seems hard to argue with..so maybe Chris and new family will move to San Diego, fall in love with the place and stay, or hate it and leave, or any combination of the above.
But either way, they'll know.
best,
gp
Here is an extract from a book, World Development Report which can be found here.
QUOTE
Labor migration promotes growth. Within countries, the accumulated empirical evidence shows that labor migration increases the earnings prospects of people who move. It also shows that labor migration contributes to aggregate growth by improving the distribution of labor, driving concentration. And by clustering skills and talent, migration drives agglomeration spillovers. In the United Kingdom the estimated long-run wage premium for men who migrate is about 14 percent, and for women about 11 percent. Wage premiums ranging from 7 percent to 11 percent have been found among internal migrants in the United States.
UNQUOTE
I see two conclusions. The first is that people moving to find work is good for them and for the overall US economy. The guy who said "Go West young man" had some insight. The second conclusion is that the so called "blow-ins" in Lowell are part of a very healthy economic flow that brings success to this area.
Regards — Cliff
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